The Reality Behind High School Relationships

For generations, we have seen young teens enter the high school dating scene, wanting to be in a regular boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Some even say that they are so in love that they would consider marrying that person. They might have talks about the future early on, but mostly just fantasize about it and decide to see where the relationship goes. But if a bunch of couples say they want to make a relationship last, why do most of them fail? To figure this out, we are going to have to dive deeper into one of the biggest causes that makes these relationships fall apart.

Many young kids in high school end up dating because it seems to be a part of the whole teenage experience. It's a time in your life when everything feels new and exciting, and when you finally get a relationship going with somebody, you can feel as though you're on top of the world. You begin to stay up late calling each other, watch movies together, and hang out almost all the time. Maybe there's some cool event happening on the weekend, so you go to it together. On top of that, it just feels like a match made in heaven. Everything seems perfect, and for a while, it can feel like nothing could possibly go wrong.

That is, until the storm hits.

It's all fun and games until the butterflies and intense feelings begin to fade. The novelty of the perfect person you had inside your head slowly disappears, and you begin to notice the person for who they truly are. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, because no one can remain perfect forever in another person's eyes. However, once the excitement starts wearing off, you may begin to notice imperfections that you didn't pay much attention to before.

Eventually, life gets hard, and both the girlfriend and boyfriend can begin to get annoyed with each other. Little problems that once seemed unimportant may suddenly become much more noticeable, and before long, those problems can lead to arguments. Once a high school couple finds themselves fighting, they may start thinking, I guess it's over, because by that point, they no longer feel the same way about the person.

Part of this has to do with the fact that a lot of teens go into dating without really knowing what they're getting themselves into. Plus, most of the time these days, young teens don't have marriage in mind anyway, so dating can become nothing more than spending fun time with the girl or boy you like. There's nothing necessarily wrong with that, but over time, it can lead to problems when the relationship is built mostly around the wonderful feelings that person brings. When those feelings begin to change, you may suddenly realize that you never really thought about what you wanted from the relationship in the first place.

It's amazing to think that if we have big emotions for someone and find them physically attractive, it becomes easy to think that they might be the one. From there, we start building up an image of that person in our head, thinking they are perfect. We put them on a pedestal and begin to believe that they are the answer to all our problems and will make us the happiest people on earth. When you're caught up in those emotions, it's easy to overlook the person's imperfections because you are focused on everything you love about them.

That is, until the butterflies begin to wear off. Slowly, you start seeing things that bother you about that person. At first, you might brush them off and not think much of them. You tell yourself that nobody is perfect, and you continue enjoying the relationship. But as the weeks and months go on, those little problems can become harder to ignore.

Eventually, you might find yourself getting into more arguments with the person you're dating, and both of you realize that the relationship doesn't feel as warm and perfect as it used to. You might even discover that you have values that don't match the other person's, or that you simply don't know how to deal with conflict. At that point, it's easy to start thinking that fighting means you no longer love the person.

But fighting itself isn't necessarily a bad thing. Every relationship is going to have disagreements because no two people are going to think exactly alike all the time. The real problem comes when you don't know how to handle conflict respectfully. If every disagreement turns into an argument that neither person knows how to resolve, a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship can eventually fall apart.

Not necessarily because they didn't like each other, but because they didn't think about what they wanted before they got into the relationship. They may have built the relationship almost entirely on attraction, excitement, and strong emotions without developing a deeper foundation underneath it. In other words, it was built on sand.

Sometimes, this is simply how young people learn. Dating can teach teenagers what they value in another person, how they respond to conflict, and what they actually want in a relationship. But if they never develop a foundation that helps them understand that no one is perfect and that relationships will eventually face difficult moments, it can become extremely hard to stay together once the storm hits.

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