Balancing Out Roles In Marriage

For years, we have seen in more traditional households, that the husband always goes to work, while the wife stayed at home with the kids and handled the regular housework. Many young women today would be offended by that way of going about a marriage which is understandable. There has been a long debate on whether the husband does more work than his wife or the other way around (U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics tracking confirms that working women perform an average of two hours more of household labor per day than men). We have seen over the past couple of years that women feel like there is a massive imbalance with having their husband work while she stays at home.

Sure, there are plenty of women who might want a career as well, which there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe they want a life beyond just being a mother and wife. Whatever it is, we see that the times have definitely changed (modern economic surveys note that dual-income couples now account for nearly 60% of all married households with children). Some think it's changed for good, others still believe in these strong traditions. Neither one is better than the other, it's really just working out with your spouse how the house should be run.

Traditionally, women have done a lot of cooking, and the kitchen work, as well as all the laundry around the house. Being a wife and mother this way is a whole job within itself, and it's not easy. There is always something to do. Feeding the kids, and entertaining them and giving them attention. It doesn't have to be this way though, for example, maybe consider that the husband also cooks the meals a couple of days a week as well as does some of the laundry. It doesn't need to be something only a wife does.

In fact, it could become something you do together and maybe make your marriage stronger. Wives would love it if their husbands got up and cooked during the week not only to give them a break, but its a good way to build a deep connection with your wife and kids. Unfortunately, we live in an economy where it's pretty hard to do that today. Husbands who work a corporate job often do end up going to work for a whole day, and never make it home until very late. Often we see that both the husband and wife are extremely exhausted by the end of the day. It's gotten to the point where the majority of people don't cook. It turned out into buying tons of pre-made processed food (nutritional market data tracks that over 80% of families now rely on ultra-processed convenience foods weekly) as well as tons of take-out food from fast-food restaurants like McDonald's.

It's not a healthy lifestyle, and we desperately need to learn how to balance out cooking, and how food is made from scratch around the house. Also depending on how many children you have, if you can teach them to cook and do household work as well. It may sound like a lot to do, but if you can teach your sons and daughters to cook, it's a skill they will carry with them the rest of their lives. Another benefit is, teach them to do laundry themselves as well, especially if you have sons, it's better to build these habits early (developmental psychologists track that assigning domestic tasks early actively accelerates long-term executive function and operational independence). Also it teaches your son skills that will play very good in life if they ever want to get married.

If we could have more husbands willing to help out with the house more, and we could build a system that doesn't involve the husband being away from home all day long that would be ideal, but it's just really depends on what a husband decides to do with his career. Most people don't even make enough income with two parents working, so it's just better to figure out, if both are working, what can you do so you both balance out household chores.

Most people also send their kids to school if both parents are working, because they don't have time to watch them. Although it is not wrong for a woman if she doesn't want to work a corporate job if she doesn’t have to. It's really sad to see in this generation that it has become extremely difficult and expensive to live on one income (Federal Reserve data shows that middle-class purchasing power has steadily declined relative to child care and housing costs). We have also seen more and more divorces over the years as well as fewer people even considering getting married and having children.

It makes sense why so many young people put marriage and kids on hold until later in life. It's not easy to build a life and family from scratch, and it never really has. But there are benefits to living life with a partner and not have to go through everything alone. It's always nice to have a helper, but it always involves fighting to support a wife and children, which is a wonderful blessing. Provision is not a burden, and for a wife, it's always nice to have the support even if you do choose to work as well.

Explore More

How To Write A Novel By Hand

Image
  A Complete Guide to Distraction-Free Drafting Are you sitting at your desk right now, struggling to even write your novel? You might be wondering if it is a good idea to shut down your computer. Is it actually possible to draft a book using analog tools? Famous authors like Jane Austen might come to mind. You might imagine yourself holding a quill pen and dipping it into an inkwell. Whatever your creative dreams look like, I will walk you through the exact process of how to write a novel by hand . Step 1: Gather Your Minimalist Writing Tools Before putting pen to paper, you need a clear idea. A solid concept is the most important part of the writing process. Once you have your plot figured out, it is time to choose your physical materials. You do not need anything fancy or expensive to get started: Budget Notepads : I usually find the cheapest notepads available and draft my manuscripts straight onto those. Pencil or Pen : Choose what works best for you. Personally, I...
Read »

Dating Versus Courtship

Have you ever woken up one day thinking, "I really want to go on a date," thinking that would be the most romantic experience of your life? Or maybe there is someone you're truly interested in and would like to take out. Whatever it may be, does it ever come to mind to think of the long-term possibility, or just to have fun? I've seen that these days, romantic relationships are treated so casually compared to the formal ways of the past. Most people these days don't seem to want to get married anymore, and there seems to be a big emphasis on telling young people that you're wasting your youth if you get married while you're in your 20s. We also see that most people don't want to carry the responsibility of being married and handling things like a home and food. Over the years, the cost of living has gone up, and because of that, we see fewer and fewer people wanting to have kids. They believe kids are a financial burden on their lives, and due to this,...
Read »

Living Together Before Marriage

Is it okay? Many people today think they need to live with someone before they get married to figure out if they are the right person, but is that really true? Back in the day, it wouldn’t have been acceptable, because that's what you did only after you got married. But now, it's pretty much just a casual, normal thing to do. But is it really benefiting people in finding their spouse? It's almost like you're practicing being married before you really are, which in many cases people treat it like a trial to see what each other's daily habits look like. Most of all, supposedly, it's easier to figure out if you can handle living and sharing a life with someone.  Now you might be asking, is this right? Well, in many cases, particularly from a traditional standpoint, it is very much something that isn't necessary and shouldn't be done. The reason is that if you want to pursue someone, you get to know them over a couple of months. You don’t need to live with t...
Read »