Marriage As A True Partnership

Sharing Responsibility

I was asked one time why I believed in a more traditional marriage and was challenged by many questions regarding whether I wanted a housewife. I then responded with, I would like to have a wife who could stay at home, at the same time, I would like to share that household responsibility with her. Ideally, I would hope to work a job from home as well. Most women today seem offended by the idea, and I don't think a wife should be held to that expectation of being a housewife. At the end of the day, there needs to be a balance; it can't just be that the husband goes to work while the wife stays at home alone with the kids. The problem is, the world we live in today makes it almost impossible. In fact, it's gotten so bad that we see both parents working to try to provide for their kids.

So then what do we do about it? Well, back in the old days, large families would live on a chunk of land and simply have a farm. They would grow all the crops and have their own cows and chickens. With this model, a large family could live and run the household together and share all the household responsibilities. Nowadays, we see that everyone spends most of their life focused on a career in order to make a living. It's not a bad thing if you have a couple of kids, and you send them to school while both parents work, but then you have to think about the fact that you won't be seeing your kids often. Unless you get a medical degree, it's kind of hard to make enough income to raise many children. 

Marriage & Kids

In this day and age, most people don't want to get married or have children anyway. It's all about finding a career first and putting all your energy into completing a college degree. Again, these are all great ambitions, but then you have to ask yourself how on earth you're going to pay off your student debt. This is fine if you want to remain single and not have children. At least it would give you some time to find a job and pay off a lot of that debt. But what about those who want to get married young and have children in their youth? Well, the best thing to do is plan your life in advance to avoid large amounts of debt. 

Anyway, many young people these days have been conditioned to think that pregnancy is an extremely risky thing to ever do in life. If it were that risky, why did God make us to reproduce if that is the case? Yes, there are things that go wrong in pregnancy, and I do not wish to deny that, but it has been used as an excuse to not have children. Somehow, we got young women thinking that men are a complete burden on our society and that they don't need a man in their lives. Then we have to think about the fact that men who do want kids get told, "Well, you get to sit down and relax while your wife is growing a baby inside her womb." That is not how a husband should ever treat his wife. His responsibility is to protect her and the baby, and make sure there is a roof over her head.

Husbands are not the boss

Another thing I've heard is that many women seem to think that submitting to their husbands means obeying him like some kind of boss. Like he's in control of everything you do. If that's what you think marriage looks like, that is an unhealthy mindset. Marriage is supposed to be a union in which a man and woman walk side by side for the rest of their lives, meaning they do everything together. Not one decision is agreed on by the husband alone. In fact, a good husband will always go to his wife about everything, and that goes the same for a wife. You are both a team. It should never be that one person is a ruler; you both are the rulers of the household. We also need to remember that a husband can do a lot of the heavy lifting and handyman work around the house if something is broken. I'm not saying that's all men, but it sure is nice to have someone who can lift and carry all the heavy boxes.

Most of all, at the end of the day, a healthy marriage should never feel like a power imbalance for a wife. It's so sad to hear that so many people have forgotten that having a husband or wife is a beautiful thing. Like, why do we have to waste our youth on dating apps and hooking up and forgetting the consequences that come with these actions? Also, it makes no sense why so many people want to have all this sex, but freak out as soon as a pregnancy occurs. It's so much easier just to stay away from situations like that. In fact their should be a lot of boundaries when it comes to teen dating. Otherwise, kids in their young teen should stay away from it because they're young and still maturing. 

Being More Intentional

We also seem to spend way too much time not being intentional about anything when it comes to a person's heart. It's like, why do we have to spend so much time in a loop of playing games when we could just be honest and up front? For example, young men could be better about how they handle their interest in a young woman. Like maybe instead of testing the waters and sliding into her DMs, you spend more time getting to know her face-to-face. Otherwise, if you have no intention of a serious relationship, you really should stay away from women with high values. A man's job should be to respect the person at all costs. Don't mess around with her heart and lead her on.

At the end of the day, if you want a relationship that honors God, the best thing you could ever offer that person is total transparency. Why, because that means you can build trust and understand each other's values from the beginning. No wasting time playing games and sliding into DMs trying to read each other's feelings. Now, just because you may be intentionally doing so doesn’t mean you will marry the first person you date, but what I can say is that it can keep you away from pushing a relationship that isn't right for you. Most of you might read this article and find it offensive; that's okay. The point was to offer a different point of view for people with maybe more traditional values. Or you may have been curious as to what this could offer you. 

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